I wrote some schtuff recently. You should read it. Because I like you. And yer purdy. And my self-worth is tied to the number of clicks I get. Or something.

Anyway.

I wrote about the zombie protestors at the Special Olympics event that Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker was speaking at. No wonder public support for unions is plummeting. Imbeciles.

Did you hear about Sarah Palin’s emails being released?? OMG, they were going to be so deliciously scandalous! Except the weren’t. They were pretty ordinary, actually. What is the media’s obsession with taking down Palin? It’s annoying.

ATMs killed the radio star economy. So says Barack Obama. In other news, indoor plumbing killed the chamber pot industry.

I wrote this article on middle school kids and sextionnaires on a plane. Air travel has nothing to do with the article. It just makes me sound fancy, so I thought I’d point it out.

And I was on a podcast talking about internet privacy.

Happy reading!

This morning I did what I do every morning. Hit the snooze bar too many times, finally look over at the clock, sit bolt upright and say, “Crap!” Then there’s a crazy flight-of-the-bumblebee dance as Leif gets ready for work and I get Thing 1 breakfasted, dressed, and ready for school.

Because I’m a news junkie, I can find at least thirty seconds in there to check the headlines on Twitter. Where I saw a lot of people upset with Tucker Carlson for a comment he made about Sarah Palin: “Palin’s popularity falling in Iowa, but maintains lead to become supreme commander of Milfistan.”

MILF has become common vernacular, and even though it’s technically an acronym for Mom I’d Like to Fornicate with (ok, the F is for something else … I’ll leave it at that), I take it to mean nothing more than hot mama. The term might be crass, but Sarah Palin is a very pretty lady, and I don’t have a problem acknowledging that.

I would be offended if Carlson had indicated that Palin’s slippage in the Iowa polls was because she was a pretty face and nothing more, but I just don’t see that. I see a dude that has put his foot in his mouth before (Remember when he said Michael Vick should be executed?) doing it again.

Carlson tried, in a funny and contemporary way, to say, “Palin might be falling in the polls, but at least she’s still pretty.” I’ve had more than one friend look at me after I’ve said something really dumb or been dealt a blow and said, “Aw, Honey, you’re so pretty.”

It’s meant to be silly. It’s not to be taken seriously. Carlson may have used a tasteless word that many take offense to, but he’s not a woman-bashing misogynist. He just has a chronic case of word-vomit.

The former Alaskan Governor has a new neighbor for the summer. A Peeping Tom!

Joe McGinnis rented the house next door to the Palin’s Wasilla home, so he could spy on them while he’s writing a book about her. It is not expected to be a flattering portrayal of the politically involved mom.

The whole thing creeps me out. Strange men peeking into my daughter’s windows? Yech.

Palin made the discovery after dispatching her husband Todd to “introduce himself to the stranger who was peering in” from her neighbor’s deck in Wasilla, Alaska.

I love the former beauty queen’s response:

“You know what they say about ‘fences make for good neighbors?’ Well, we’ll get started on that tall fence tomorrow.”

Our VP can always be counted on to say the most insane things at the most bizarre times.  He did not dissapoint last night on Larry King.  Let me share with you some of the gems he dropped.

Regarding airplane attacks by Muslim extremists:

“I think what you’re seeing morphing here – and it’s a concern to us – is you’ll see the concern relates to somebody like a shoe bomber or the underpants bomber, the Christmas attack or someone just strapping a backpack on them with weapons that are indigenous and blowing up, you know, walking into in airport…I think there are going to be attempts.”  Biden also insisted that the Obama administration, which ordered a review of security and terrorism procedures after the Christmas Day incident, is prepared to deal with such attempts. “I’ve been really impressed with the success we’ve had, building on the last administration, in dealing with these.”

Hmm… I feel safe now.  Especially since the head of Homeland Security thinks the system works, but just in case it doesn’t, let’s steal pillows from toddlers during the last 90 minutes of all flights.

Regarding that three-letter word JOBS:

“I think now the jobs bill, I think, will be probably less than is needed initially, but it will be very helpful…by the spring, I think people are going to begin to have more confidence in the policies we’ve put in place.”

Is this the same Jobs Bill that extends unemployment benefits?  Why don’t they just go ahead and call it a “don’t bother looking for work because we’re going to pay you even longer to sit at home heckling the *rich* people providing for your existence”?  Too long?  Bummer.

Regarding Iraq:

“I am very optimistic about Iraq. I mean, this could be one of the great achievements of this administration…You’re going to see 90,000 American troops come marching home by the end of the summer.”

So he’s optimistic about having the troops home, not about Iraq or our own national security.  When the US leaves, the fledgling democracy in Iraq will most likely crumble to the extremists, and we’ll see all sorts of lovely new terrorist cells plotting the destruction of the US.  Perfect.

Regarding Sarah Palin (this by far is my favorite):

“I like her…She’s an engaging person. She has a great personality. I don’t agree with what she says and I think some of the things she says are not – well…Well, you know, it’s sort of like – some of the comments made are just so far out there, I just don’t know where they come from.”

Seriously Joe? Maybe you could explain some of your comments before you go ripping into Sarah Palin for her far-out comments.