It’s 5:15 a.m. and I’m awake. I’ve been waking up at 4 recently, unable to go back to bed after my third bathroom trip of the night (thank you, childbirth) because by that time I’m no longer exhausted enough to drown out my darling husband’s snores with sleepiness.

Side note: Isn’t snoring the worst sound in the world? Ok, maybe the third worst, following nails on a chalkboard and cats in a blender. Not that I’ve ever heard cats in a blender. But I can imagine, and it’s not pretty.

Sometimes I can jam earplugs in and throw a pillow over my head and find a couple more hours of elusive rest. But I’ve had this cold recently, and the stuffy nose and the cough and poor tender head make me ache while I wait for the meds to kick in, and by the time they do … I’m pretty much awake.

By the time the clock hit five, I knew I was done, so I threw the covers off and headed down the hall to write this very post. The light was on. Huh. Strange. Stranger still was the sound of the TV. Ok, no longer strange.

Here’s what I found:

This little goober didn’t go to sleep until nearly eleven last night, even though she was put to bed before nine. It was the same old But I Need game, which (I’m pretty sure) children have played since the dawn of time. You know the one.

But I need a drink!

But I need to go potty!

But I need my night light!

But I need socks that don’t bother my feet!

But I need a hug!

But I need a different song on the ipod!

But I need to be tucked back in!

You get the idea. Anyway, my little non-sleeper was out in the living room watching TV. Which she is not allowed to do on school days. Apparently, she thought that rule only applied to afternoons and evenings, so she forced herself awake after six precious hours of sleep to enjoy some tunes.

New rule: No getting up until 6:30.

Except for Leif. If he wants to get up pre-crack of dawn and leave me to sleep in peace … I’d be ok with that. Love you, Honey!

So I wrote some stuff last week that I’d love for you to read. Click, read, comment, share – especially share. Word-of-mouth is where it’s at, baby. Plus, I really can’t afford fancy advertising. It’s ‘spensive.

The Occupy Wall Street goons are still on display. President Barack Obama feels their pain and understands their frustration. Iran thinks they’re swell. Iran also stones rape victims for ‘sexual immorality.’ As a general rule, I like not to agree with Iran on pretty much everything.

Obama called Mitt Romney a flip-flopping flip-flopper, which is completely true, of course. However, there’s this saying that come to mind about glass houses and throwing stones…

Priorities in Topeka are messed up, y’all. Social welfare programs and inflated benefits and pensions are not more important than legally protecting victims of domestic abuse.

So. It’s been a little while since I’ve done one of these. Not sure if you could tell or not, but it’s been sort of a long summer three or so years. But good news! I’m getting my mojo back. Both kids are in school right now. I’m training for a half marathon. I get paychecks now (good for both the ego and the budget).

I’ve done dishes TWO nights this week.

Anyway. I wrote some stuff over the past week (or two … three?) that I’d love for you to click on. Maybe you could even read them! That would be awesome. Hopefully you’ll learn something, even if it’s just a different perspective.

A certain state is using taxpayer money to pay for babysitters for underprivileged kids. Except they’re not running background checks, so many of those sitters are rapists, child-molesters, drug dealers, etc. Which state it is? I’ll give you a clue: It starts with Ill and ends with nois.

In other skeezy news, ex-gangsta Cornell Jones took over $300,000 dollars of federal taxpayer dollars to build a strip club. How about we end some of this disgusting spending instead of raising revenue taxes?

Back in Illinois, it’s apparently illegal to record on-duty police officers. Where are we? Soviet Russia?

James Hoffa (not the one buried under a football field) of the Teamsters (not technically part of the mafia) opened up for President Obama at a pro-union rally on Labor Day. He told the president that the union workers were his army, and they were ready to take the Tea Party son of bitches out. The White House had no comment.

The lights went out in San Diego (and parts of Arizona and Mexico), which made me ponder what life would be like if we lost electricity suddenly and unexpectantly. As it turns out, EMPs are a real potential threat, and we’re going to need strong missile defense to combat them.

And finally, union thugs in Washington State went bananas on the port of Longview, destroying property and holding guards hostage. They were back at work the next day.

Happy reading!

PS- Thanks for putting up with me as I’ve been trying to navigate my new normal. Y’all are the best.

This week, Ashley and I talk about:

1. College Football & American Craft Beer
2. Obama’s Jobs Speech vs. GOP Debate
3. Jobs vs. Bugs
4. The Taxpayer Funded Strip Club
5. Policing the Chicago Police
6. Rapists Getting Paid by Taxpayers to Babysit
7. The Texas Sonogram Law

Plus we have a rant, a dirty joke from Eli, and an awesome Dude of the Week!

Happy Listening!

So it’s been two weeks since I’ve done a roundup for y’all. What can I say? This summer his kicked my hiney. Between the heat and the kids and the chores and Leif’s crazy work schedule … sometimes not everything gets done. Like the laundry. But that’s another story for another day.

So go click my links (my editors like web traffic, yo!) and maybe even give my articles a glance. You might even learn something! I know I did writing them.

Just after Governor Rick Perry announced his run for the presidency, I wrote about his jobs record in Texas. Spoiler alert: It’s better than Obama’s.

I wrote about the truth behind those ‘budget cuts’ we keep hearing about. They aren’t cuts at all. They’re an increase in spending. Only in Washington … sigh.

I never thought about this problem before, but how do women get bras in Saudi Arabia? They’re not allowed to work, and men aren’t allowed to fit them. My breasts salute America!

We need Social Security reform. The Ponzi scheme is going to collapse, and soon.

In Idaho, a man is being prosecuted for killing a grizzly bear that was on his property. The bear was approaching his family, which includes six children, aged 10 months to 14 years. Bottom line: People > Bears.

Environmentalists are now going after our clean clothes. Leave my fabric softener alone!

Happy reading!

If Thing 2 were here, she’d say, “I on dah airplane!” Because that’s where she would be. Isn’t technology cool? I’m zipping through the sky right now on my way home from the Red State Gathering in Charleston, SC, and I’m posting stuff on my blog. Wonders never cease.

Also? I’m easily amused.

So I wrote some schtuff last week, and I’ll love you forever if you read it all. Or at least I’ll feel amicably toward you. I may even give you a hug next time I see you. I’ll probably give you a hug anyway. I’m one of those people.

Why make laws if they’re not going to be enforced? Even more so, why make laws that only some people have to follow? Way no fair!

The United States’ credit rating got downgraded. Does it mater? Maybe.

30,000 college students in Michigan were on food stamps. And I’m sure none of them had cell phones. Gah.

And lastly, but certainly not leastly (apparently that’s not a word – oh well), Rick Perry formally announced his candidacy for President. Finally something exciting for the Republican primary field!

Happy reading!

I wrote some schtuff last week. It’s super important that you read it. Or at least click on the links, even if you never get around to reading it because a small person asked for an 87^th sippy cup of juice, or your boss walked in and you’re supposed to, like, actually work and not mess around reading political commentary on the Internet. Because the people that hire me won’t know you didn’t read it, they’ll just see page views. Help a free-lancer out, people!

Apparently people are getting themselves killed by Mexican drug cartels using American firearms. The idea was to follow the guns to the big bad drug lords, but the operation has gotten completely out of hand. Skeery stuff.

In crazy San Francisco news, the city wants to make ex-cons a protected class of citizens. I’m reminded of that scene from Liar Liar when Jim Carey yells into the phone to one of his scummy clients wanting legal advice, “STOP BREAKING LAW, ASSHOLE!”

Should obese children be removed from their homes and placed in foster care? I say no times a thousand. I love the first comment on this one: “Do you really have to make EVERY article about politics?” Um, yes. That’s what I do for a living.

I can even turn Glee into a political issue! I’m totally talented like that.

I was also on The Roger Hedgecock Show to talk about the debt ceiling. It was my first time on a nationally syndicated AM radio show, and I loved it. If you loved it too, tell your favorite radio host you’d like them to have me on. Seriously, if you demand, they’ll supply. I hope.

Have a great week!

In which I talk to Meredith Dake about Media Matters for America, and also ramble about summertime with kids, ATF, Obama, and Google+.

Happy listening!

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Wowee wow wow! What a week! Leif turned 32, America turned 235, and someone got away with murder. In between celebrating, being glued to the news out of Florida, the beach with the kids, a mental meltdown, and no less than 47 cans of Coke Zero, I wrote some stuff. Which you should read. And pass along to your friends. Because my livelihood depends on it.

Of course I had to write about the Casey Anthony trial. Why do some people believe humans only have a right to life after they’re already born? I often ponder if abortion is age or location discrimination…

President Obama needs to shut up or put up about shared sacrifice. His staffers got significant raises. In other news, this week marked 800 days since the Democrats have passed a budget. I wish *I* could spend other people’s money on crap to make myself feel good.

And last but not least, teachers in Atlanta were caught in a huge cheater-cheater-pumpkin-eater scandal. Because nothing says I care about the kids quite like changing their answers on tests so your district won’t lose funding. Three words: School choice now.

Happy reading!

In which I talk to new media political guru Justin Hart and Florida law chick Sarah Rumpf.

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California is releasing tens of thousands of inmates after a ruling by theSupreme Court on Monday. No, they haven’t been wrongfully imprisoned and suddenly found innocent due to some new DNA technology.

It’s just that the prisons are overcrowded.

A sane solution would be to build more prisons. Unfortunately, there’s apparently not enough money to build more steel bars. So, we should totally tax the rich, because even though they pay the vast, vast majority of our taxes, they still aren’t paying enough, because new prisons aren’t getting built!

Another logical option would be to spend less money per prisoner, so that the savings could go toward building new facilities. The average prisoner in the State of California costs over $48,000 annually, with about $16,000 of that going to health care, mental health, and dental costs.

Prisoners, convicted felons, probably have better health care than you do.

Seriously, does your health insurance cover free hormone replacement therapy for you if you happen to be transgendered? California prisons do. And soon, they may even provide gender reassignment surgery as well.

Read the rest at The Stir