Oh to be a fly on the wall of the Oval Office… This is a conversation that I imagined up between President Obama and his Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel. While the events referenced are true, the conversation itself is completely fictitious and nothing more than Silly Thoughts with Jenny.
“Hey Rahm, what’s on my schedule this week?”
“Well, Mr. President, General McChrystal requested to speak to you regarding the war in Afghanistan. He feels that we will lose the war if you don’t send more troops.”
“I wish that war would just go away. Do you think that’s a possiblility?”
“No Sir, but maybe if you never address the issue, the voters will forget about it. Just keep telling them that you support the bravery of the troops and are consulting with top officials on an effective exit strategy. Now that ACORN is on its way down the drain, we have to be very careful not to alienate our voter base with silly ideas about national security.”
“I like that approach. Let’s go with that. Now that my schedule is clear, can I go on Letterman again? I’ve been thinking of some new jokes involving Sarah Palin AND the Special Olympics.”
“No Sir, you were just there last week. We agreed on no more than one talk show per month, remember?”
“But that’s not fair!”
“Mr. President, don’t make me call The First Lady in here…”
“Fine. But you better have something good for me this week, Rahm.”
“Would you like to address health-care?”
“No.”
“Cap and Trade?”
“Booor-ing!”
“Well, there is one thing you might be interested in… How would you like to fly to Copenhagen to lobby the International Olympic Committee’s voters to bring the games to Chicago in 2016?”
“What, like a campaign?”
“Yes, Mr. President, exactly like a campaign.”
“Well why didn’t you lead with that? Go fuel up Air Force One and pack my suitcase! We’re going to Copenhagen!”
“Very good, Mr. President. I’ll set it up.”
UPDATE 10/2/2009: President Obama, First Lady Michelle, and Queen Oprah lost the bid for Chicago to host the 2016 Olympics to Rio de Janeiro. I know, it’s hard to believe… the Obama’s actually lost a campaign. I guess that’s what happens when you can’t get your opponents thrown out of the race, or put intimidating Black Panther thugs in front of voting booths.