Continued from here:

Dick Cheney walked onstage to thunderous applause.  He has become a loud voice for national security ever since our President appointed Janet the-system-works Napolitano as Secretary of Homeland Security.  You know, because he actually likes America, is proud to be an American, and wants to keep America around for a few more generations.

He said that when Liz asked him for advice on what to say, as she usually does before a speaking engagement (smart girl, I do the same thing with my dad) he mentioned that he’d like to attend CPAC with her.  “Ok,” she said, “But only as arm candy.”

Vice President Cheney said that he enjoys CPAC because it keeps conservatism and its fundamental principles alive.  He also said that he’s encouraged by recent conservative developments in Virginia, New Jersey, and Massachusetts, and that he expects to see more in the novemeber elections.

2010 is going to be a phenomenal year.

Dick Cheney said so.

I always love hearing Liz Cheney speak.  She just has a way of getting to the core of issues with common sense truisms.  Like the time she said, “America needs a commander in chief, not a community organizer.”  Or how about last week when she said, “Vice President Biden has a famously tenuous relationship with reality”?  The girl is a genius, I tell you, a genius!

I made sure to be there for her speech at CPAC to catch the pearls she would undoubtedly throw out to the audience.  I was not disappointed.

She encouraged us Americans not to believe the mainstream media when they us that conservatism is dead.  Massachusetts voters told the mainstream what they could do with their “info”.  We know what Obama’s about now.  He can no longer hide behind hopey-changey campaign promises.  The truth is, he ‘s going to raise everyone’s taxes, because he wants government in every aspect of everyone’s lives.

He also wants terrorists in everyone’s lives.  Obama’s weird pledge to close Gitmo and bring the terrorists into Thompson County, Illinois prisons is not only a bad idea, it’s an expensive one to the tune of $200 million dollars.  And that’s in addition to the taxpayer money already spent on the cost of building and maintaining gitmo.

Ms. Cheney told us that even her 9-year-old daughter had it figured out.  “Mom, is President Obama really bringing terrorists into the US?” her daughter asked.  After hearing her mother’s affirmative response, she responded, “Man, use your brain Dude! That’s really stupid.”  This is not rocket science, people.  Terrorists belong in Gitmo, not America’s heartland.

President Obama is not on top of his game in the national security department.  He revealed US interrogation techniques and then stopped paying attention.  To keep the US safe, he needs to make it a priority, and not treat it like a part time job.

As Americans, we have the right and the obligation to say something.  Too many men and women have paid too high a price for that right to speak, so let’s send a message to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue: You will never silence us.  We have the courage of conviction, which she learned from her dad….

…who then walked on stage.

Dick Cheney was in the house.

To be continued….

Our VP can always be counted on to say the most insane things at the most bizarre times.  He did not dissapoint last night on Larry King.  Let me share with you some of the gems he dropped.

Regarding airplane attacks by Muslim extremists:

“I think what you’re seeing morphing here – and it’s a concern to us – is you’ll see the concern relates to somebody like a shoe bomber or the underpants bomber, the Christmas attack or someone just strapping a backpack on them with weapons that are indigenous and blowing up, you know, walking into in airport…I think there are going to be attempts.”  Biden also insisted that the Obama administration, which ordered a review of security and terrorism procedures after the Christmas Day incident, is prepared to deal with such attempts. “I’ve been really impressed with the success we’ve had, building on the last administration, in dealing with these.”

Hmm… I feel safe now.  Especially since the head of Homeland Security thinks the system works, but just in case it doesn’t, let’s steal pillows from toddlers during the last 90 minutes of all flights.

Regarding that three-letter word JOBS:

“I think now the jobs bill, I think, will be probably less than is needed initially, but it will be very helpful…by the spring, I think people are going to begin to have more confidence in the policies we’ve put in place.”

Is this the same Jobs Bill that extends unemployment benefits?  Why don’t they just go ahead and call it a “don’t bother looking for work because we’re going to pay you even longer to sit at home heckling the *rich* people providing for your existence”?  Too long?  Bummer.

Regarding Iraq:

“I am very optimistic about Iraq. I mean, this could be one of the great achievements of this administration…You’re going to see 90,000 American troops come marching home by the end of the summer.”

So he’s optimistic about having the troops home, not about Iraq or our own national security.  When the US leaves, the fledgling democracy in Iraq will most likely crumble to the extremists, and we’ll see all sorts of lovely new terrorist cells plotting the destruction of the US.  Perfect.

Regarding Sarah Palin (this by far is my favorite):

“I like her…She’s an engaging person. She has a great personality. I don’t agree with what she says and I think some of the things she says are not – well…Well, you know, it’s sort of like – some of the comments made are just so far out there, I just don’t know where they come from.”

Seriously Joe? Maybe you could explain some of your comments before you go ripping into Sarah Palin for her far-out comments.

Haitian judge Bernard Saint-Vil reccommended that the 10 missionaries being held on kidnapping charges in Haiti be released, after hearing their testimony yesterday afternoon.

The controversy over these Americans in Haiti began last week when they attempted to cross the border into the Dominican Republic with children they had “rescued” from an orphanage.  Only as it turns out, several of the children still had living parents. The judge also heard testimony from the parents of these children, who readily admitted that they had given their children to the missionaries hoping and praying for a better life for them.

“After listening to the families, I see the possibility that they can all be released,” Saint-Vil told The Associated Press. “I am recommending that all 10 Americans be released.”

That was Wednesday.  By mid-day Thursday, Saint-Vil still had not delivered his formal recommendation to the prosecutor on the case, who could potentially appeal the ruling.

Come on Haiti.  I know it’s a confusing time right now with your main city in a pile of rubble and over 217,000 people dead.  But you guys have bigger problems than holding citizens from a country that has shown you nothing but compassion and generosity.  Like how about taking care of the looters, murderers, and rapists roaming the streets?  I know it might be difficult to differentiate between the criminals and the missionaries, but I’m sure you’ll figure it out.

Otherwise, President Obama needs to grow a pair and pull our troops and funding out of there.  If Haiti wants to play by it’s own rules, that’s fine. But America doesn’t need to fund it.

Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab was escorted into a Detroit courtroom today, where his lawyers entered a not guilty plea.

I cannot believe I just wrote that sentence. Let me re-write it:

Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab (the terrorist) was escorted into a Detroit courtroom today (as if he had the same rights as American citizens), where his lawyers entered a not guilty plea (despite the nearly 300 witnesses on the plane that saw his crotch catch fire as the bomb he was supposed to explode the plane with failed to detonate correctly).

Rudy Giuliani hit the nail on the head this morning during an interview with George Stephanopoulos on Good Morning America:

This isn’t about whether you convict him or not, this is about whether you get information or not. If you put someone in a civilian court, within a short time a lawyer is appointed and the person shuts up. If you have a person in the military system you can question him endlessly for as long as you have to, make sure you’ve gotten the full scope of information, and here’s the most important point, you get it timely.

Yesterday, President Obama lectured the intelligence agencies for failing to keep our homeland safe.  He’s right in that we need to do everything possible to keep terrorists off our planes.  But that should be our second line of defense. The first line of defense should be making them too scared to even think about boarding the plane.

How do you terrify a terrorist?  Not even the death penalty means much, because they’re all suicide bombers.  They’re ready for the afterlife (at least they think they are. I bet meeting Satan sort of sucks…). Do we threaten them with a lifetime in prison without trial on a tropical island, where they get 3 meals a day and free access to pray to their God for The Great Satan(America)’s destruction?  Geez, no wonder the Gitmo detainees don’t want to leave… Sounds a lot better than living in a cave in Yemen!  Even if they do manage to get back to their cave in Yemen, they will have fresh information to spread amongst their brothers about our safety and security procedures.

Is there anyway to scare terrorists off planes, then?  Everyone’s afraid of something… Terrorists are afraid of being tortured into giving up valuable secrets about their organization, location, future plans, or any other information that might be floating about in their twisted little brains. To do so would not only harm their mission, but would bring shame upon them and possibly damnation from their god.

It’s insane that Abdulmutallab is being given a civil trial.  If convicted, he could serve up to a life sentence.  Here’s the message that sends to the other terrorists back home:

Keep up the good work boys! There’s nothing to be afraid of with these silly Americans; they’ll even let you on the plane if they know you work for al-Queda.  Getting through security is not too bad, they’re so busy making sure everyone dumps out their water bottle and has the correct size sandwich baggies that they easily overlook us.  If they do examine you closely, be sure to threaten a discrimination lawsuit. That usually does the trick.  And don’t worry if you screw up and the bomb doesn’t detonate, because you’ll never have to say a thing in The Great Satan’s generous legal system.  If released, you may return immediately to us and rejoin the mission, or if imprisoned, you may pray continually for our cause.

Welcome aboard flight number…

After being briefed on the findings of the security reviews that he ordered on the failed panty-bomber on Christmas day, Barack Obama has figured out how to make it safer to travel the used-to-be-friendly skies.  In a press conference this afternoon, Obama gave his 24,374th speech since assuming the Presidency to assure the public that he really (really!) is doing his job.

He said that our government failed to connect the dots to prevent a known terrorist from boarding a plane inbound to the United States and attempting to detonate a bomb. It was the shortcomings of our intelligence agencies, and their inability to connect the dots that allowed Abdulmutallab to board a plane in Amsterdam with a bomb in his underpants.

Even though our intelligence agencies had info on al-Qaeda’s presence in Yemen, they did not aggressively follow up on and prioritize particular streams of intelligence related to a possible attack.  This contributed to a failure of analysis and connecting the dots across the intelligence community.  Which in turn led to shortcomings in the watch system that failed to place the man on the no-fly list.

Since it was not a failure to collect the intelligence, but to integrate the intelligence, the President came up with a four part plan for other people to do their job better.

Step 1: The intelligence community should assign specific responsibility on high priority threats. Not just some of the time, but all of the time. Clear lines of responsibility will lead to clearer communication.

Step 2: When threats to the United States are identified, they should be spread rapidly and widely.

Step 3: They must strengthen the analytical process, including how the annalists examine the intelligence gathered.

Step 4: They must strengthen the criteria for adding people to the watch list and no-fly list.

Obama stated, “My new reforms will help our intelligence community do its job even better, and protect American lives.  Even so, we need security at our airports and borders and through our partnerships with other nations.”  He also told us that it will require significant investments into this area- including 1 billion dollars in new systems and technologies, more baggage screening, more passenger screening, and more advanced explosive detection capabilities.  I think that it’s been proven time and again with education, with the automobile industry, with the banks, with poverty, and with so many other things that the solution is not to throw money at a problem.  It never works.

The President said, “In the never ending race to protect our country, we have to stay one step ahead of a nimble adversary.  That’s what these steps are designed to do…We are at war… war against al-Qaeda…and we will do whatever it takes to defeat them.”

President Obama is blaming the intelligence community of the United States for the attempted attack, but it’s politically correct over-thinking and the lack of common sense that led to Abdulmutallab boarding that plane.  Less intellectual intelligence and more smarts please.  That’s what will keep terrorists off of our planes.  Not a billion dollars worth of nekkid body scanners.

If we will do whatever it takes to keep our citizens safe, why is airport security wasting time confiscating my bottled water, instead of profiling passengers that fit the description of al-Qaeda operatives?

In 2004, four Americans working in Iraq for the private security company Blackwater USA were killed by Iraqi insurgents.  They were making a food delivery when they were somehow stopped and dragged from their cars.  They were beaten, hacked into pieces, and set ablaze.  Their corpses were tied to bumpers and drug up and down a main road while the locals gleefully cheered.  As a final insult, two of the brutalized bodies were strung from a bridge over the Euphrates River.

Intelligence identified Ahmed Hashim Abed as the ring leader of the attack, and in September 2009, he was finally captured.  And apparently punched in the face. This vile excuse of a human got punched in the face by the Navy SEALS that captured him, and he had the fat lip to prove it.  Now the terrorist is pressing charges.   Matthew McCabe, Jonathan Keefe, and Julio Huertas deserve heaps of praise and gratitude, not assault charges, for capturing the scumbag.  And for punching him in the face.

On Friday, President Obama declared Swine Flue, or H1N1, to be a national emergency.  Why?  Because of the “many millions” that have contracted the illness, more than one thousand have died from it.  Since we have no way of knowing exactly how many that “many millions” actually is, let’s say five million.  That means that 0.02% of the people that contract swine flu end up dying from it.  Maybe the number of swine flu cases is closer to ten million.  That would put the death rate from the disease at 0.01%.

That’s not exactly what I call a national emergency.  I believe the real pandemic is the fear created by the swine flu, and by our government’s overreaction to it.  The fear has been used it to push a “government knows best” agenda in places like New York, where legislation was in place to force health workers to receive the vaccination, or lose their jobs.  That mandate was only removed due to a lack of supply.

Side-note- President Obama assured America that there would be more than enough of the vaccinations to go around (120 million doses by mid-October), yet only about 13 million doses have come through.  So how are we supposed to believe promises by the government that our quality of care will not decrease under a public health option?

Another side-note- Since the vaccine is developed in chicken eggs, the demand for the economical protein source is bound to go up.  According to the laws of economics, the price of eggs will go up as the demand increases and the supply decreases.  Which means that many families that have already given up meat for eggs will have to go to beans and rice.

Let’s get back to that real pandemic- the fear mongering.  A nation preoccupied with a flu “emergency” is more likely to turn a blind eye to the real crises, like the war we’ll lose in Afganistan if we don’t send more troops like we did to win in Iraq, or the falling value of the dollar, or the cap and trade bill that will send energy costs skyrocketing, or the ongoing debate in congress over a $1,000,000,000,000 entitlement program, or the eminent bankruptcy of social security, or… well, you get my drift.

Now is not exactly the time to be declaring a disease with a 99.98% survival rating a national emergency.  As a country, we have bigger things to worry about.

Oh to be a fly on the wall of the Oval Office… This is a conversation that I imagined up between President Obama and his Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel.  While the events referenced are true, the conversation itself is completely fictitious and nothing more than Silly Thoughts with Jenny.

“Hey Rahm, what’s on my schedule this week?”

“Well, Mr. President, General McChrystal requested to speak to you regarding the war in Afghanistan.  He feels that we will lose the war if you don’t send more troops.”

“I wish that war would just go away.  Do you think that’s a possiblility?”

“No Sir, but maybe if you never address the issue, the voters will forget about it.  Just keep telling them that you support the bravery of the troops and are consulting with top officials on an effective exit strategy.  Now that ACORN is on its way down the drain, we have to be very careful not to alienate our voter base with silly ideas about national security.”

“I like that approach.  Let’s go with that. Now that my schedule is clear, can I go on Letterman again?  I’ve been thinking of some new jokes involving Sarah Palin AND the Special Olympics.”

“No Sir, you were just there last week.  We agreed on no more than one talk show per month, remember?”

“But that’s not fair!”

“Mr. President, don’t make me call The First Lady in here…”

“Fine. But you better have something good for me this week, Rahm.”

“Would you like to address health-care?”

“No.”

“Cap and Trade?”

“Booor-ing!”

“Well, there is one thing you might be interested in… How would you like to fly to Copenhagen to lobby the International Olympic Committee’s voters to bring the games to Chicago in 2016?”

“What, like a campaign?”

“Yes, Mr. President, exactly like a campaign.”

“Well why didn’t you lead with that?  Go fuel up Air Force One and pack my suitcase!  We’re going to Copenhagen!”

“Very good, Mr. President.  I’ll set it up.”

President Obama was on TV this morning (again), doing a wonderful job of reading off the teleprompter (again), encouraging all who were listening to have hope that things will change (again).  This time, he was addressing the UN (United Nations) and calling for a new world order.  The speech was so full of conundrums that I’m still not entirely sure what it was about.  Take this doozy for example: “Those who used to chastise America for acting alone in the world cannot now stand by and wait for America to solve the world’s problems alone.”  What does that even mean? If nations didn’t like the way we acted in the world, why would they work together with us to solve the “world problems” of which Obama speaks?

Does our president still believe in world peace?  He seems to.  He even laid out a plan to achieve it.  We must rid the world of nuclear weapons and increase security from terrorists.  How can we possibly increase security from terrorists if we don’t have bigger and badder weapons than they do?  And since nukes are pretty high up there in terms of big, bad weapons, you can be sure that terrorists are going to do their best to get some.

Assuming that we do manage to get rid of all the terrorists and nuclear weapons; when we’re all getting along, singing kumbya and eating ice cream sandwiches, we can then tackle climate change and global economic opportunity and growth.  First problem with that- there is absolutely no evidence that climate change is a direct response to human behavior and actions.  None.  So how can we tackle an issue that we don’t fully (or even partially) understand?  Second problem- global economics.  Are we going to spread American jobs around the globe?  Haven’t people been complaining for years about jobs going overseas?  Now all of a sudden it’s a good thing?  I just can’t wrap my brain around it.  Or are we going to help other countries to achieve the same level of prosperity that we enjoy in America?  Wouldn’t that be elevating ourselves above other countries though?  Obama specifically said in this morning’s speech, “In an era where our destiny is shared, power is no longer a zero-sum game…No world order that elevates one nation or group of people over another will succeed.”

World peace is a myth.  So long as evil resides in the hearts of men, there will be jealousy, greed, entanglements, betrayals, WAR.  Humans are imperfect beings living in an imperfect world, and to believe otherwise is to indulge in childish fantasies.  If President Obama seriously believes that Utopia is possible here on Earth, I only have one question for him.

“Where can I buy my pet unicorn?”